You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize