There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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