i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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