Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
