take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize