We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
