Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
