I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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