You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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