Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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