if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
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She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
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Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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