Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
