Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
