drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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