I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
