what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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