normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
