you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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