oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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