just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
you had me at cake vodka
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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