He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Randomize
