I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
