i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
