yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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