is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Farmville is her only friend.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
