My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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