K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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