Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
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