Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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