what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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