Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
