well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
