You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
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We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
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I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost