help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
