i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
