Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
