It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
