Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
