I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
