Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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