that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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