covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
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Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
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His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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