He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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