Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
