She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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