I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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