Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
