he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize