why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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