tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
