So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Randomize