Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
