not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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