Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
