i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
