is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
