just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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