Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I will pee on everything he values.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
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