i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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