Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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