Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
ugly people sure do ruin things
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
