so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
