I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
